I would like to point out that this is all completely true: I was in class one day and I had to fart. I noticed that we only had a few minutes left before the bell rang so I decided to play it strategically... I waited until we had 30 seconds left of class, leaned forward and a little to the right to minimize all sounds and let the fart glide out like when squeezing a cereal bag to rid the excess air. There was an unusual amount of gas being released than what I was used to, enough to get worried about.

      See, the plan was that I would fart, then the bell would ring and the classroom would empty out so that the only one that could possibly smell it would be the teacher, in which case they shouldn't have given homework. But there was a problem... while relieving my butt muscles that had previously been clenched, the teacher said: "The clocks five minutes fast today so keep working and blah blah blah..." 

      So has anyone else noticed that in a public place, people sniff very loudly and repeatedly when they sense a foul smell? I hate that, it makes me mad!  "Why can't they sniff quietly dammit?" And then because they're sniffing, everyone else has to sniff to know why that persons is sniffing, or they ask if the person next to them smells it too!  For a future note to the readers: Don't ask if somebody can smell something. Your nose is fine and is working properly. No need to bring someone else into a fart sniffing contest.

      Luckily, nobody was hurt and nobody tried to blame anyone... I got off scott-free. That is, until sit-ups in gym.

 By Justin Paul